Showing posts with label Relationship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Relationship. Show all posts

31 May 2017

How You Can Make Your Long Distace Relationship Work

Everyone knows that maintaining a long distance relationship demands hard work and dedication from both Man and Woman. When a couple lives very far away, keeping a romance going becomes very difficult. According to the Center for the Study of Long-Distance Relationships (who knew such a thing existed?!), more than two million couples in the United States are in LDRs—including three percent of the country’s married couples. While long-distance relationships can be challenging, here are five tips that will ensure yours is as healthy and successful as possible.

1. The biggest benefit of being in an LDR is that it forces you to communicate. You may never again in the course of your relationship have this much focused time and energy to spend communicating with your partner. Make the most of it. If you get to know them deeply and well, that will pay off big-time in the long run.

2. When you’re trying to figure out how to make a long distance relationship work, talk about how you talk. Discuss some of your communication basics as a couple–how you generally prefer to connect (phone, VoIP, text), what times, and for how long. This can help set realistic expectations and avoid some miscommunications, frustration, and anxiety.

3. When you’re in a long distance relationship it’s easier to hide your weaknesses and put your best foot forward. Unless you both value transparency and honesty more than making a good impression, you will have a much more difficult time figuring out whether you and your partner are a good fit for each other.

4. Communication is the bedrock of any relationship, but when you’re in an LDR, talking is often all you have. Learn to listen carefully to your partner and ask good questions – questions that make them think and help you understand them better.

5. Before the end of a visit, be sure you know when one of you will be visiting the other next. If you have a definite end to the distance already on the calendar, even if it’s just going to be a weekend together, the time apart will be easier to deal with. It’s also important to have a general sense for when the long-distance phase of your relationship will come to an end. An indefinite LDR is unsustainable for most couples, so having a plan for eventually moving to common ground is helpful.

6. There are moments of jealousy and insecurity in even the most secure relationships. However, every perceived slight or twinge of envy will be magnified in a long-distance relationship. The last things you want to do while you’re apart is, spend your time obsessively checking his Facebook page or fretting about what he’s doing if he doesn’t respond to your texts quickly enough. If you don’t trust your partner or know you have jealous tendencies, you might want to reconsider if an LDR is really right for you.
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18 October 2016

Ways to control your anger in relationship.

 

Anger is normal, but it’s very important to deal with it in a positive and in a mature way. Uncontrolled anger can take a toll on both your health and your relationships.
You can deal with anger by understanding what your body is telling you and quickly taking steps to calm yourself down.

I have met people who say it’s difficult to know when the anger starts. It’s easy to know. You are definitely angry when your heart beats faster and you breathe more quickly. You might also notice other signs, such as tension in your shoulders or clenching your fists.
Below are ways to deal with anger.
Think before you speak
In the heat of the moment, it’s easy to say things you’ll later regret. Take a few moments to collect your thoughts before saying anything — and allow others involved in the situation to do the same. Once you can recognize that you’re getting angry, and can calm yourself down, you can start looking at ways to control your anger more generally.
Practice relaxation skills
When your temper flares, put relaxation skills to work. Practice deep-breathing exercises, imagine a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase, such as, “Take it easy.” You might also listen to music or do whatever it takes to encourage relaxation.
Use humor to release tension
Lightening up can help diffuse tension. Use humor to help you face what’s making you angry and, possibly, any unrealistic expectations you have for how things should go. Avoid sarcasm, though  it can hurt feelings and make things worse.
Get some exercise
Physical activity can help reduce stress that can cause you to become angry. If you feel your anger is escalating, go for a brisk walk or run, or spend some time doing other enjoyable physical activities.
Don’t hold a grudge
Forgiveness is a powerful tool. If you allow anger and other negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness or sense of injustice. But if you can forgive someone who angered you, you might both learn from the situation. It’s unrealistic to expect everyone to behave exactly as you want at all times.
Identify possible solutions
Instead of focusing on what made you mad, work on resolving the issue at hand. Whatever the problem is, remind yourself that anger won’t fix anything and might only make it worse.
Above all, take every problem to God in prayer. Anger does nothing but destroys. May God help us in Jesus Name.
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From Mimi adeyemi.
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11 October 2016

Please help- I'm i in love?

Love is a powerful thing that can change things. Love can make an old man behave like a boy. Funny right?

At every point in our lives, we mistake LUST for LOVE. The ladies do suffer more during casualties in relationships.

LUST is a physical emotion and reaction to someone else appearance, that makes us move by appearance.

INFATUATION is an intense feeling. It goes beyond Lust, it tends to be obsessive.

Lust and Infatuation are flirt and short lift. Whereas Love is a choice and is built on strong foundation.

What you have to do is:
Stop looking for the right person and be the right person.
Solve conflict in a respectful manner.

Questions to know if you're in love:
1. Are you attracted to your partner, physically, emotionally, mentally etc?

2. Does the thought of your partner make you happy?

3. Are you happy with or without your partner?

4. Do you like who you are your relationship?

5. Do you love your partner as you love yourself?

6. Do you feel comfortable with your partner, do you feel good and proud about your partner?

7. If your partner looses his present financial position, will you still love him?

8. Do you appreciate your partner?

9. Do you always apologize when wrong?

Answer all these above questions and score yourself. Are you truely in love with your partner?

I charge you all to sit back and check where your were wrong and try to iron out things, when you are in love, everyone knows and sees it in you.

I believe those questions will help you know if you are in love or not.

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29 September 2016

Relationship and sex issues before marriage.



Image result for relationship and sex issues
Good day my lovely readers, I want to enlighten us on this sex issue in relationship. One of the greatest headaches of many young ladies in relationship is the issue of sex. While they find themselves entangled in love, they also would not want to offend God by fornicating. Meanwhile, most young men of today are always demanding sex before marriage as a proof of love. If a lady denies her boyfriend (fiance) sex, he tends to think she either does not love him or she is seeing another guy.
 
 And this throws the lady into so much confusion. She genuinely loves the guy but wouldn't want to give in to sex. If she denies him, she may lose him and if she gives in too she disobeys God. Sorry to our ladies. Gentleman, please know that it is absolutely a lie from the pit of hell that if your fiancee does not give you sex it shows she doesn't love you.
 
 
How can you use sex as a LOVEOMETRE? Have you never slept with ladies you didn't truly love? If you haven't then let me tell you that
many people are having sex with people they never love.
 
 
 
And the men are themselves the worst culprits. If sex is a proof of love then we have to conclude that prostitutes love all the men they sleep with. If sex is a proof of love then we have to go about sleeping with our best friends and even family members to show how deeply we love them.
 
 
 Even married couples, do not have sex to prove their love. They rather have sex because sex is part of marriage and it is meant for both procreation and recreation - child birth and enjoyment. Don't you know that there are married couples who are not genuinely in love but they still have sex as a matter of duty or just for cover-ups? Surely, sex plays a major role in love affairs.
 
 But Eccl 3:1 says, "For everything there is a season..." It is never the right season to have sex in a relationship. This is because sex is a blood covenant between husband and wife not boyfriend and girlfriend. Gen. 4:1 says, "Adam knew his wife". It does not say "Adam knew his girlfriend".
 
Stop going that far with the lady. If you want to know about a woman's love for you sex is never the answer. Leave her alone to serve God right for your own sake if you truly want to marry her. Song of Songs 2:7 says, "I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelle...that you AWAKEN NOT LOVE UNTIL IT IS TIME".
 
The gazelle is a very swift animal. It runs at least 96 km per hour. Bible compares romance to the gazelle. If you start romance at the wrong time you may crush because you will not be able to stop it from running your life at top speed. So until you are married, don't AWAKEN LOVE.
 
 
Sex has been the main reason for most broken hearts and disappointments. Sex is called love-making because it involves the body, soul and spirit. Do you want your soul and spirit to be tied to somebody who is not married to you? Can you stand the consequences, Mr. Young Man? Hear the Bible: "O my son, O son of my womb, O son of my vows, DO NOT SPEND YOUR STRENGTH ON WOMEN, YOUR VIGOUR ON THOSE WHO DESTROY KINGS." (Prov.
31:2) Sex before marriage can destroy you, even your Christian life.
 
 The funny thing is some Brothers in Christ even worry the Sisters in Christ for sex. So God says, "My son...son of my vow". You are a son of God so don't waste your energy on women. You should rather be teaching her chastity and help her serve God well. Seeking love from sex is like looking for Jesus in an empty tomb.(Word) Take it easy. When you marry you will be fed up with sex. Your wife will be chasing you with it and you will be running away, saying, "Oh I'm tired, why?".
 
 
Take time okay, Wait patiently. It will soon be laid at your doorstep and you will notice how stupid it is to chase sex when you are not married. If you want a woman to prove her love to you, allow her some space to be herself. Do not force your will on her or control her.
 
Her love, by nature, will push her to do things that will signal to you that you are her top priority. She will be ready to marry you, than just have fun with you. She will not be interested in you showering things on her but rather, she would want both of you to set your life and future right. She will support your dreams and visions and help you build up your Christian life.
 
 In fact, she will exhibit the spirit of humility and you will also discover she is a precious jewel in a glass jar, reserved for you alone. 
 
Let me end here, I believe you have learnt some thing after reading this. Do well to drop your contributions by clicking on the comment box, comment, lets here from you, and also share to friends.
 
 
 

 
 
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7 September 2016

She does not trust me anymore, what do i do? I need advice.

Image result for why not trust
Trust issues 

Hello admin, my name is John, i am a Banker. I have dated this girl for a year now. When i met her, she was cool, fun to be with. Her name is Rose, but i call her Flowers.

Due to the nature of my job, i leave the house early on 7 a.m and return by 7 pm. i go to see her 4 times in a week after i close from work. the love was flowing very well. She comes to my place, pass the at my place some times.

I had plans of proposing to her, because i love her so much. I stopped visiting her often as i use to and that made her to complain. She began to say that i am cheating on her (no more trust), that i am seeing another girl. I told her that i am not seeing any other girl but she did not believe me.

The next thing that happened, i got a message on my cell phone and i read, i was so shocked by what she sent. " Baby, my friends have been telling me that you are a flirt, because you are a banker, you sleep with your banker colleagues and also some beautiful customers. Now i will also start my own by flirting with guys."

After reading that text, i was so short of words. But the truth is, i am not cheating on her. How do i make her understand that i am not seeing any other guy.

please i need your advice, because i learnt she was spotted with a guy in a drinking spot.

Wow, what can i say? He needs your help by giving him  a positive advice on what to do. This banker, John sent his story to me via mail, to post it for people to advice him. Please show him some love. On my side, read this article and learn how to rebuild trust.

Help mr John by dropping your advice on the comment box.
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7 March 2016

Instructions to Finding your Ideal Mate


 Image result for pics on ideal mate

Hello my wonderful readers, I want to share some stuffs on how to find your ideal mate, I know you will pick some points which will help you.
 
Settle at the forefront of your thoughts:
Number one stage is to put it into black and white. You're not going to compose an advert, What you have to do is to list your qualities and the characteristics you seek in the person you need. What ought to be incorporated into this rundown ought to be: your identity attributes and those of a coveted mate, your physical characteristics, and the fancied physical qualities your mate will have, and also hobbies and leisure activities, religion and convictions (both yours and if your mate must be the same religion or hold a comparative conviction framework or deficiency in that department), want for kids and your readiness to acknowledge another kids, your correspondence style, and so forth. You might need to draw on the assistance of your companions for the identity bit, and in addition your past connections. In the event that you investigate this, it'll be less demanding for you to perceive what identity sorts you coexisted with the best.
Transform the rundown into a profile of what sort of mate you're searching for. This is a skeleton of a man. It ought not be a rundown of requests, yet rather an essential framework of the spirit you're searching for. The rundown should be sensible and organized
By taking a gander at the profile, you will see what angles are essential to you that you might not have acknowledged some time recently. For instance, assume you like being outside, and working out, then search for a trekking bunch - maybe at a religious gathering, group bunch, or a neighborhood outside club like the Sierra Club.
Despite the fact that you don't need to have everything just the same as somebody, it's a decent begin to discover somebody who has a few things in like manner.

Know about what other individuals tend to search for in a mate:
 Since there are various studies on what men and ladies search for in a mate, make utilization of them with the goal that you can comprehend what others are searching for. This can permit you to underscore your qualities in whichever region, to flag obviously that you have the intriguing attributes, convictions, or do the exercises that your potential mate is searching for. The absolute most prominent things men and ladies search for in each other are:
Ladies are searching for (all together): Personality, comical inclination, regular premiums, insight, cleanliness, looks, hotness, becoming acquainted with the man through a companion, voice, most profound sense of being, calling, cash, ability, lastly, religion.

Men are searching for: Personality, comical inclination, insight, regular premiums, looks, cleanliness, hotness, voice, ability, otherworldly existence, cash, religion, becoming acquainted with the lady through a companion, lastly, calling.

Cherish yourself and your body:
 This is hot tip of the century; your optimal mate will be the individual that cherishes you as you are and sees that you do as well. On the off chance that you can't grapple with this reality, then some certainty building is all together and the attitude of needing to fall in accordance with whatever your date says needs to go out the window. Things to tolerate personality a main priority to offer you on your mission for the perfect mate some assistance with including:
You're justified, despite all the trouble. Yes, you truly are. What's more, demonstrate it by strolling tall, with your head held high, grinning and feeling certain. That is alluring and it will give potential mates a chance to see that you're agreeable and additionally self-assured.
List every one of the things that are extraordinary about yourself – why you make an awesome companion, what your main 10 achievements are, what you're pleased with in life, and why you're an incredible catch.
Dress to look great, not to fit the design, the mark, or to top it all off, the size on the tag. Whether you're male or female, great dressing that capitalizes on your benefits is constantly appealing and separates you from other individuals.

Be OK with your body:
 It's a great deal more alluring than continually conveying flags that you're distrustful about your butt size or your weak arms.

Begin to search:
 Discover social gatherings and occasions where your mate may invest energy, and where there are liable to be a lot of discussions with each of the general population included. It's vital that you put yourself where you're prone to locate your optimal mate as opposed to trusting that that individual is the following one to take a seat on the bar stool alongside yours. The best places to search for your optimal mate are at spots where you appreciate investing energy, as it's imaginable this initially shared premium will kick things off. Spots to invest energy searching for your optimal mate include:

Singles bunches: These could be gatherings in nearby holy places, dating administrations, or on the web. They're the most clear source on the grounds that everybody has ostensibly pronounced that they're hunting down somebody, keeping in mind they have their pitfalls, the good thing is that everybody arrives for the same reason. You might find that your ideal mate on the trekking outing is hitched, or that there are no potential life partners in the auto enumerating club, though singles gatherings are ensured singleness at any rate!

Leisure activity and games clubs: You should know the relationship status of others in these environs obviously however in the event that you're taking part in something you're getting a charge out of doing in any case, what's the hurry? You've a lot of opportunities to get some answers concerning the other individuals there and work out who is free and of enthusiasm to you, all while seeking after a side interest, sport, or other hobby. The reality of the mutual hobby will probably expand your odds of similarity.

The working environment: You'll know right off the bat in a work environment who is single and who is most certainly not. The drawback is the proceeded with vicinity and the wagging tongues; it can likewise be harder down the track in case you're both in the same work environment, wedded, and going for the same advancement however that is something to battle with later on. A mutual vocation way can really be truly useful for a few couples and means that you're perfect mates.

Traveling: This is an extraordinary time to discover individuals who are in their casual mode. The drawback is that they may live and/or work no place close you, and they may very well be in it for an "occasion fling". Do some question approaching before succumbing to somebody in the midst of a furlough.

Try not to be excessively meticulous in advance:
 You're not arranging a portable workstation - you and your future mate are both searching for (or if nothing else open to) somebody to become more acquainted with and make glad. Become more acquainted with loads of individuals in different settings calmly, with a perspective to a couple center traits and comprehensively perfect identities. Keep a receptive outlook to the little points of interest that you and that uncommon somebody can enhance or trade off on and not stress over later.

In the event that you tenaciously request an exact blend of traits in advance, you'll most likely neglect to discover it, possibly drive off somebody you might want with your particularity, lastly, tainted, settle for a relationship not off to a decent begin for both of you and maybe clumsily late for a crew.
Specifically, don't stress over the better purposes of looks: as with a great car you've had for some time, you won't see the points of interest after some time however just affectionately remember them generally.

Make a decent early introduction:
Dress and present yourself well when you begin being a tease and dating. Individuals do show up and it may be the main chance you get the opportunity to have any kind of effect. Great prepping, charming behavior, and benefiting as much as possible from yourself are critical parts of keeping up your allure.

Utilize comical inclination:
 Both men and ladies refer to this quality as imperative and there's justifiable reason explanation behind it. Cleverness is the thing that diminishes the entire clumsiness of dating and it additionally tells both of you that you're unassuming and not brimming with yourself. More to the point, a man with a comical inclination is unquestionably the best decision for a deep rooted responsibility over a mope!

Try not to surge things and give the relationship a lot of time to develop:
 When you discover somebody who appears to fit the profile, take a full breath and go gradually! Invest a considerable measure of energy talking, tuning in, and seeing distinctive parts of this individual you think about. Obviously, you need there to be fascination, yet you need to become more acquainted with this individual too. What's more, you need to perceive how you connect in a scope of circumstances, for example, at recreation, amid unpleasant periods, being around family, and in expert circumstances.
Put off closeness for some time - relying upon your religious convictions and age, this may not be a decision but rather regardless of the fact that not, postponing closeness can promise you that you're with your optimal mate, as opposed to encountering a fascination. The fervor and fascination in new connections can override becoming more acquainted with one another on the off chance that you give into it too early. Love can feel a great deal like love at first, so ensure your heart and brain before you enjoy closeness.
Ensure you tell somebody that you're searching for a long haul relationship from the onset:
 The most exceedingly awful thing you could do to yourself is experience passionate feelings for somebody who takes off three months after the fact since they're not prepared to settle down. You ought to tell somebody you are searching for a relationship after the initial few dates (it's somewhat frantic to examine this on the main date!), or when you know you're keen on this individual. Try not to be in a race to confer; simply ensure you're both in agreement. Tell them that is whatever you're doing. Furthermore, remember that you have to utilize your judgment skills when sounding out duty issues; all things considered, no one needs to talk about marriage on the second date!

Try not to settle for not as much as perfect:
On the off chance that you find this is not the perfect individual for you, don't hold tight to them or persuade yourself it'll improve or you're as a rule excessively fussy. You realize what you need in a mate (you've effectively recorded it above). You'll see it as well. What's more, when you do, it will be extraordinary! In any case, then again, don't be a fussbudget and request inconceivably elevated expectations of the other individual. Attempt to acknowledge eccentricities yet not make due with somebody you won't be content with.

Yes, it can work for you if you put this instructions into practice. Do it with all your might and you will find your ideal woman or man.
Please drop your comments, we are here for you.
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27 February 2016

How you can rebuild trust in your relationship

Image result for pics on rebuilding trust

Hello good people, I want to talk about trust. Trust is a very broad topic, but it is very essential in relationships and marriage, with trust, there is no relationship or marriage. Now let's see how to rebuild trust issues in your relationships and marriages.

BY APOLOGIZING:

Apology that comes right from your heart is the best. When apologizing to someone you offended, you must show humility, you must throw your pride away, you must not let your ego control you and you must show remorse. Let the person you offended know that you understand the level of hurt he or she is passing through. Let them know the reason you are apologizing, because when apologizing the person you betrayed or offended must see the guilt and shame written all over you. By doing so, the person will forgive you and get back to you.

BY BEING STRAIGHT FORWARD

You know you have broken your partners trust, you betrayed your partner,  you have to come out plain, be straight forward, be transparent. Let the person know that his or her well being is very important to you. Do not forget to admit that you are wrong.  Try to reveal the secret you kept from them.

FORGIVING YOUR SELF

 You have wronged your partner, you have betrayed the trust he or she had for you, and you feel so bad and regret ever doing it. Do not have a hard time forgiving yourself because you betrayed your partner. I know it’s hard, but you have to forgive yourself first, before your partner forgives you. Let’s remember, no one is perfect, so forgive yourself and push forward.

BE TRANSPARENT

We value personal information a lot and that puts some relationship into trouble. What are you hiding from your partner? He or she wants to know where you go and what you do, please allow them. By being transparent, you can build trust, if you like put your calls on speaker so they may listen and know you are not cheating. Removing security locks from your phone will help a lot, he or she will know you have nothing to hide, letting them read your email, text, and  even see your call log. By doing so, the trust will come back.  

ALLOW THEM RIGHT TO EXPRESSION

Expression of anger and strong feelings is natural after being offended or betrayed. Your partner whom you have betrayed will need to unleash his or her expression and thoughts, although you may find it icky and uncongenial, but it is very necessary for them to express themselves in other for them to be calmed. Take note; never try to shut them up while they are expressing themselves, if you do it means you don’t care about their feelings. Let them shout, cry, anyhow they want to do it until they are satisfied.

YOU MUST KEEP YOUR WORD

Trust between two people means you must be calculable and reliable for a very long period of time. You must make a promise to your partner to become the best. It doesn’t really end by apologizing and promising, because it may build a short term trust. When you apologize and promise, make sure you act towards your promises, if you cannot be honest to your partner in future, or you are not able to do all you promised you will do, then you will be waving your partners trust good bye. Try and avoid making the same mistake, if keep all your promises, the trust will be back and you will enjoy your relationship.

YOU REALLY NEED TO BE PATIENT

Rebuilding takes a lot of time, especially when it has to do with the heart. For example, when a house collapse, it takes a lot of time to rebuild, because you will have to clear all the unwanted materials first, make sure the land is clear before you put another foundation, this time around a foundation that will never collapse. So in terms of trust, you have to be patient, allow the person clear the hurt in his or her heart, but you must be persistence in your own effort. Depending on the collapse the person’s heart, rebuilding may take weeks, months, or even years. That is when the person will know if you truly love them. Don’t let them know it is a must that they must trust. One thing you must know is, things may not be the same again after your betrayal, but if you prove that you are a trustworthy person, that trust will surely be resurrected.

CONSIDER THE OFFENDERS REACTION TO THE SITUATION

Are the really sorry because they were caught? Or are they really sorry for hurting you? Are they really ready to do better next time?
If they are not ready to make things right or if they are not ready to show regret, remorse to what they did, then there is no need wasting your time trying to trust them. But if they are ready to make things work, my dear please hurry and accept them back and enjoy your relationship.

LET GO YOUR ANGER

It happened, there is nothing you will do about it, once you let go of your anger, you will feel free and refreshed. Never bring up the topic in future, let the past belong to the past.

ACCLIMATIZE YOUR ANTICIPATION    

It may be hard for you to fit in, no matter what your partner does to make you happy, you may not feel 100% satisfied. But you have to fashion or shape yourself with him or her in other to make him or her happy and to also make yourself happy.

YOU SHOULD RECEIVE AND GIVE LOVE

After everything, you must learn to love your partner no matter the betrayal, and be ready to receive the love the person will give to you, because the love may come in trailer or truck in other to impress you. They will want to express affection, please accept, because the act of true affection is the real thing.

I believe and also hope you will be able to rebuild trust in your relationships and also in your marriages with these above points. Be transparent, be real, protect your relationship and marriage from going down. It’s in your hands handle it with care.

We are always here to provide you with all the tips you will need to grow in your relationship and marriage.

Feel free to drop your comments.       

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